Friday 28 April 2017

gratitude & tears

A year ago, I booked high tea.

At my favourite place.

With favourite people.

To celebrate my birthday.

It was late for my birthday, but fell on my mum's birthday a week or so later.

Another reason to celebrate.

It also fell on a weekend of deluge and flash flooding.

My friends mostly, wisely, pulled out.  They made the right choice.  The conditions were too risky.

Except for one dear friend, ready for adventure, determined in her love.

I felt compelled to go though.

You see, my mum.

It was her birthday.

She probably didn't know

She was in the final awful stages of Dementia.

That stole her away from us, little by little, far too fast.

I was convinced

that I had to see her.

I was convinced

that Death must come knocking, when birthdays draw near.

that the cells in her body knew that the day had come

I was convinced

that her fragile grip on life would loosen.

That, having made the next milestone, she would finally let go.

I had to see her.

To give her my love.

So that I didn't miss 'goodbye'

I'm so glad I did.


we were unwise

in the deluge

in the floods

we were lucky

we made it through

never again


She lingered for another month.

And then her body failed

Suffering enough

we told her she could leave us

we would care for her son

she was loved


those memories washed over me as I drove today

confronting me on the road to high tea

and God was kind

different seats, different views, new memories

with another precious friend

ready for adventure, determined in her love

flowers for love

lavender tones to comfort


a posy

gentle, old fashioned roses, in dusky hues

a token of love

for one whom I love

so dearly missed

longings for better things


blessings today, as well as the tears

cosy hand-knit socks.  joy

friends who hear.   healing

wheaten bloom glowing on green hills

chill & autumn leaves afire

shawl for cosy hug of warmth

an embrace filled with understanding

rose-hued dusk

sliver of silver crescent moon

my small boy finds me to say 'i love you'


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